• Agent641@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    21 hours ago

    Instances of autism have skyrocketed since the discovery of autism and effective testing for it.

    Clearly these tests are causing the autism. It’s a conspiracy by Big Autist to make the world a quieter and more curious place. The railway companies are in on it too.

      • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        12 hours ago

        Synopsis:

        Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reveals that Tylenol causes autism, he then wants to open a bottle of it, but fails miserably. Then Eric Cartman gets on the stage talking about the evils of autism, then he shows he was bitten by an autistic girl he “played with”, but the security footage he shows about the meltdown reveals he terribly bullied her, so people will immediately feel sorry for the girl instead.

        Kyle manages to open a bottle of Tylenol, not knowing it summons cenobite-like autists from a different dimension, supposedly turning the people who summon them into autists. The others, save for Cartman, manage to find the same autistic girl bullied by Cartman who can also open that bottle summoning the other-worldly autists, who then be convinced by the boys to take them to the autism-world. Said autism-world is mainly designed around the needs of autistic people. After some shenanigans, there comes the reveal that Kyle was always autistic, the autism-cenobites don’t turn anyone into autists as Tylenol bottles can only be opened by other autists, he just was very good at masking, wants to go back to his own world even if there would be people who will bully him for what he is.

        Meanwhile, Cartman goes on an “Autism Awareness Tour” to “promote remedies”, but tanks them the moment he shows the footage.